See your challenges as patterns (rather than “just me”) and understand that they are recurring experiences that can be changed.
Below is a quote from BusinessOutside.
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Are you working 12 hour days on a regular basis, knowing that your behavior is increasing your stress, relationship problems, and health problems, yet you can’t seem to quit?
The first step to breaking that cycle is to change your mindset. In order to improve our lives and become more purposeful and conscious, we must change our limiting beliefs and patterns, the things we unconsciously repeat over and over again, that serve us well. It is important to deepen your awareness of non-verbal thoughts and actions.
If you’re stuck in a pattern that doesn’t serve you, you may have beliefs that act like mental programs running in the background of your mind, keeping you in this pattern. It doesn’t matter if you are aware of these beliefs or not.
To understand how obsessive workers can get to the root of the problem, is a boutique consulting and coaching firm that very effectively helps entrepreneurs and leaders stay stuck and succeed. We interviewed Erin Pheil, founder of MindFix Group. On-one rapid transformation program.
Using the insights Erin shared with me, I’ve outlined a step-by-step process for overcoming negative patterns and showing you how to live more purposefully.
Step 1: Decide on a pattern
Clearly see and understand patterns that don’t help. what is actually going on? What is the actual behavior (or thought or feeling) that is causing you frustration? Use very specific words, details and numbers. The exact pattern must be identified and defined as it cannot be shifted if it is too wide.
For example, “I’m a workaholic” is a label, not a clear, concrete pattern. This statement is too general to be useful in terms of being able to change things that are going wrong in your life.
“When my company’s checking account goes below $500,000, I start to get anxious and start thinking that I’m not strong enough to leave work by 8:00 p.m.” is much more specific. Useful. This is a specific pattern we can use.
When you see your challenges as patterns (rather than “just me”), you realize that it’s not you, it’s a recurring experience that you can change.
Take a moment here to be curious about your behavior and clearly identify patterns that don’t help.
Step 2: Ask Honest Questions
Ask yourself: Do you really want to change this pattern? It’s important to do this before looking at what’s underneath the pattern.
Erin explained that her team had worked with someone for weeks in the past and they still felt resistance to change. Now that I think about it, I don’t want to change myself. I really don’t want to let go of this pattern. ”
This step is obviously important to the process and the response needs to be genuine. If you don’t want to change it, don’t change it. In that case, you have to admit that the pattern is there until you really need something else.
So, you can save time by first asking yourself if you’re really interested in letting go of your patterns.
Step 3: Belief Brainstorming
Make a list of possible mental programming (beliefs) behind your patterns. Ask yourself the million dollar question. What do you have to believe to be true in order to keep (do X)?
In the example of not being able to stop working 12 hour days, the question would be “What must I believe to be true in order to continue working 12 hour days, even if it hurts me?” Is it?”
Brainstorm your list on paper.
To assist you in this process, here is a list of beliefs that may prevent you from repeating the behavioral patterns shown in Step 2.
- Hard work is what makes me valuable.
- What I value is hard work.
- I deserve to work hard.
- To be successful, you have to work long hours.
- If you don’t work long hours, you are lazy.
- Success requires struggle.
- I’m a fake, a cheater, a fake.
- I can’t believe that other people do a good job.
- To be a good leader, you have to work harder/longer than your team.
- The harder you work, the more money you can make.
Keep in mind, you may be consciously disagreeing with some beliefs that are causing your patterns. , if so, it’s important to be able to recognize that part of you. This self-honesty is very important. You can’t change your mindset until you can first admit to yourself, or a part of yourself, what you believe to be true.
Step 4: React to Lists
Check the list in front of you. Say each belief aloud to yourself. If a part of you believes the statement to be true, it’s likely that you’ll have some reaction, even if it’s a small one. You may notice subtle bodily sensations in your body. Some people report feeling bloated or constricted in their throat.
Compare these subtle reactions to what happens when you verbally say absurd statements that no one believes, such as “I’m a giraffe.” Note that when you make such remarks, you show no reaction other than possible laughter.
Step 5: Experiment
Engage in a short thought experiment.
- From your list, pick one belief that feels strongest to you.
- Close your eyes and take a deep breath.
- Imagine waking up tomorrow morning with that belief completely gone from your mind.
Try it now. Take 30 seconds to be quiet and relax, and then imagine what it would be like if you woke up tomorrow without that belief. Guess it.) Try as many beliefs as you like from the list. For many, this is a quick and powerful experiment.
This exercise may not completely rid you of problematic programming or beliefs, but intention A glimpse of what it feels like they are gone is an eye opener for most people.
Many people experience a deep sense of relief when they experience what it would be like if their beliefs stopped looping in their heads. This last step shows how you suddenly feel and behave differently. It shows what is possible.
no need to get stuck
When I tried this exercise myself, I found myself afraid of being judged. I was worried about what other people would think of me and my actions. But after working with Erin, I had an epiphany. I realized that I don’t need to care what other people think of me. I was able to get rid of these negative thoughts and move forward with confidence and conviction.
After this exercise, the process of actually clearing your mind of these beliefs (rather than just imagining them gone) may feel like scratching your own back. We build obstacles to make it harder to change what we believe.
The good news is that this process is available any time you want to change your beliefs and start on a life-changing path. No need to get stuck. No need to keep looping in useless circles.
For advice on how to live more purposefully, visit Amazon’s BusinessOutside.
Bart Foster is the founder and CEO of BusinessOutside®. BusinessOutside® is a facilitation and training company focused on engaging, inspiring and empowering individuals and teams to get out into nature and out of their comfort zones. Bert is an entrepreneur and experienced global executive who started his career at Kellogg and Novartis. After climbing the corporate ladder and building a successful healthcare startup, Bart found his true calling as an advisor, speaker, and coach to executives around the world. He lives in Boulder, Colorado with his wife and his two children. Most mornings he can be found hiking to the top of town.