For me, autism was a piece of the puzzle. Characters on the show who are often punch lines in jokes they don’t understand. Problems that need treatment. A child who stands out on the playground.
I didn’t know about autism.Except for shows like being a parent, there was not much of an exact representation. Like many people, I learned because it came home to me.
10 Truths From Autism Spectrum Households
1. Crying is a prerequisite (no need to cry)
You cry when you first learn that your child might be on the spectrum. I haven’t educated myself about the invisible privilege backpack, so I don’t understand how capable this is.
Both my kids are on the spectrum. Society told me that this diagnosis was not good and should be feared. But my children were not dying. They weren’t shot where they should have been safe and educated. they are autistic.
This diagnosis is important for our children. Tears are natural, but unnecessary.
When you finally get a diagnosis, you feel a sense of relief. you Not crazy. They are Not crazy. You weren’t even on the same page or in the same book.
Neurotypical parenting guides do not prepare you for parenting on the spectrum. I didn’t realize the kids were wired differently so I may have made a mistake. Now that we know, we can help them—and ourselves in the process of life starting to make sense again.
Parents like me delve deep into autism. I won’t dive into autism or vaccination conspiracy theories. We don’t hide in the dark, dusty corners of the Internet. Instead, read the work of people with autism. Read evidence-based studies and recommended books on spectra.
It’s incredibly overwhelming. When you think you’ve been given the key to understanding your child, you must realize how wide the scope is and let go of the stereotypes. Your child may not look like the autistic people you see in movies or on TV. I realize it’s a lot of information and it could take a lifetime to learn.
4. I worry about stigma
At first, I didn’t tell anyone that I suspected my child had autism. However, after a deep immersion in reading, I began to educate and raise awareness among others. was reflected in
We don’t have to worry about others judging our child as autistic. We need to be more open about what autism is and what it looks like. This will help those involved in our children’s lives to understand them better and will be of immeasurable help.
5. Encounter Ableism Everywhere — Even Within Yourself
“But… they don’t looks autistic.’ I hear that all the time. Now that the learning curve has gone further, it’s easy to judge, but what’s the point? Ableism is everywhere — in families, schools, playgrounds, sports teams.
In fact, you might even find it in yourself because of the use of now-obsolete terminology such as: Asperger’s, High functionWhen low functionYou still don’t know what the correct terms have high support needs Also low need for support have mixed feelings about its use Asperger’s Jeez.
So much of our modern society is built on disability discrimination that it can take time to unravel. to start dismantling it.
6. Learn that not all autism groups have a good reputation
It made me realize that Autism Speaks does not speak for people with autism and is actually hurting that community. We learned this when our children used a birthday fundraiser on social media to support this organization in their first year after being diagnosed.
If you’re listening only to neurotypical advocates, not autistic adults, you’re missing the most important part of education. Peace symbols and even ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy have a lot of trouble talking about autism. In the case, we’ve listened to “experts” or read neurotypical books, so somehow we believe them instead of assuming we know better.
7. Be the ultimate advocate
To be honest, I’m a mean mom on the playground. I have to. After all, all these neurotypical families are teaching their children to be bullies because they are not teaching diversity or inclusion at all. A “weird” kid might be autistic… you’re an absolute jerk.
do you know what i mean? My children have big hearts. They can be kind because their mothers are fierce. The closest I’ve ever gotten to punching another adult in the throat was when I was confronted by another child’s parent on the playground. It’s no surprise that the mother of a mean child thought it was acceptable behavior to talk about other children’s dress and behavior. My kid may have been in costume, but her kid was an asshole making fun of him.
With any kind of diagnosis, you may become an advocate. In particular, it is an expression that is not wrapped in discrimination against people with disabilities. You start spreading awareness. You make sure that you know that the other person has a disability — treat them as gently as you can. You decide that it’s okay if other people don’t like you, as long as your child’s needs are met.
8. Learn that acceptance is better than awareness
You didn’t read the article about a “cure” for autism. It is a normal part of the human spectrum and not a disease that needs to be cured. The world would be a better place if we learned to be
After all, your kids aren’t afraid to be themselves or wear what they want. No problem. They can be surly, but they are generally kind. The meltdown may be trying to tell you something, or maybe it’s helping you become more sensitive to other people and the world around you.
9. Build a strong support system
One of the best things I ever did on this trip was signing up for an autism family camp. I was in No one in this camp was going to make fun of anyone, so I didn’t have to be a mean mom on the playground. Everyone was welcoming and kind to each other.
To be honest, I didn’t talk much with camp counselors or other parents. I was focused on enjoying my time with my children in a safe environment. He may not have shown it, but he was grateful to have a place where he could be with his family without having to constantly look out for bullies.
Since then, I have been fortunate enough to join support groups of other families with children on the spectrum who are not like us sitting and crying. It’s like learning more about autism and how to be the best advocate for accepting autism. The support in this community is genuine.
10. You Been So Grateful
Both of my children are autistic. They are perfect as they are. I am happy to have children who are smart, quirky, and completely individual. I don’t like the anxiety that comes with autism, but I am grateful that I have the tools to deal with it.
We began to see that the first year or two of meltdowns and questionable behavior was the result of a massive misunderstanding. I was following a one-size-fits-all parenting technique with kids who didn’t think in the same way as neurotypical kids. Peace returned to my home when I learned to raise my children with autism as individuals instead of cardboard cutouts of “ideal” children.
Meltdowns are less frequent. We learned how to communicate better with each other. I am a safe person and they have learned that they can trust me with their thoughts and feelings. I called. I appreciate being a reliable and safe person for them.
Every day I am still learning about autism. I don’t know everything I still make mistakes.
I think I’m a better parent and person for having a child with special needs. All of our children have special needs, don’t they? Wouldn’t it be better to treat them like individuals rather than parent them in a specific way?
My children have been autistic all along. We didn’t know that for a while. Diagnosis changed our lives. We are a happy family with it.
I think that’s the ultimate truth about autism. It’s not the end of the world. Not even bad news. It’s just a new beginning.
First published on Medium