SINGAPORE – An 84-year-old widow found it hard to endure loneliness when her son and his family first moved in.
Madame L was dependent on her son with whom she lived after her husband died 30 years ago. Now in her 40s, he is her only child and they enjoy a close relationship.
But he, his wife, and two children decided to move into their own home about four years ago.
She said that her daughter-in-law didn’t want to live with her.
“After they moved in, I wasn’t used to it,” she said in Mandarin. It felt pointless.”
To make matters worse, she suffered from arthritis, which made it painful to walk until she had knee replacement surgery.
When the Covid-19 pandemic hit, she stayed home most of the time to avoid contracting the virus.
She retired as a janitor in her 60s after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Most of her friends are dead or too frail to visit her.
Feelings of loneliness and loss made her lose her appetite and sleep.
Madame L was worried that she was suffering from depression.
With her son’s encouragement, she sought counseling at Care Corner Singapore. Since 2021, social services agencies have provided free counseling to seniors using their services and programs to help them cope with the grief and loss they face as they grow older.
In January 2023, the service will be available to the general public in Toa Payoh, Marsiling and Woodland. We hope to eventually serve the entire island.
Through counseling, Madame L learned not to let her distant relationship with her daughter-in-law take to heart. It also helped her realize that she continues to have an intimate relationship with her son, who eats her dinner with her at her apartment almost every day.
Philip Chan, her counselor, said:
She also spends her days exercising, chatting with other seniors, and participating in activities at the Care Corner Active Aging Center in Toa Payoh, where she lives. I’m here.
“Making friends and chatting with other people is important. I feel so much better now,” she said.
“I told my son that if one day he can’t walk, I will stay in a nursing home because I don’t want to burden him. He is married and has to take care of his own family,” she added. rice field.
